Charity

We had a lesson on charity today and it made me sit back and think for a minute. It kept referring to pure love. Pure love comes from a pure heart and when you have pure love for someone else and for yourself that is charity.

This last week was really rough on us. We were having trouble getting anything done and there were a lot of arguments and attempts at discipline and tantrums and screaming. After listening to the lesson that I know most people associate with serving people outside of our homes, I thought about my actions this past week and why they were what they were and how they affected my family. The thought was put out there that we love our families unconditionally and that we need to have that love for others. It occurred to me that even though I love my little family and I will always love my family that doesn't mean that I always have the right attitude of charity towards them.
I was thinking about my sweet Kleyn and about the daily power struggles we seem to end up in. I tried to think of the little things that can quickly turn into big arguments and wondered if the reason it turns into a big deal is a) I am trying to teach him an important lesson or b) I am being selfish and pushing something that bugs me but doesn't really matter. I don't doubt that kids need boundaries and they need to be enforced when they are pushed, but I also know that I can get easily frustrated when things aren't the way they are "supposed to be" or the way I want them. Homeschooling has definitely been an eye opener to me about the things I need to work on and things I need to let go of.
I have also been thinking a lot about Kaleb. He also had a rough week and has been acting out a lot more lately. We have a harder time communicating especially when he's in trouble. When I try to talk to him he looks like he's staring into space or he pretends to fall asleep. I know I'm going to need a completely different outlook when dealing with him and I just hope I can do what's right and help him the way he needs me to.
It's really easy for me to get frustrated and just say I have bad days because my kids are just out of control, but I know a lot of the problem is me. I have to work on my patience, self-control, and motivation for what I do. I know there will still be bad days and my kids are growing and will have their own bad days, but I know that I can make our lives better and hopefully just a little bit easier by developing and praying for that charity and pure love that our Savior has for us.